In a Corner

On Saturday, I went to a coaching session, wherein I fenced someone from the N. F .C. This person was quite arrogant, with no real sense of technique. His attacks were simply: Rush forward, possible parry riposte, hit. As I said, no real technique. So, I was quite determined to beat him, which is quite unlike me. I think I wanted to prove that technique can triumph over force. So, we started fencing, and I was soon losing 7-2. I was trying to stay where I was as he rushed at me, so most of the time, my ripostes were landing flat over his shoulder. I knew I wasn't going to win it. I stopped trying to win. What was the point of trying to win? The score that followed was 9-7. To me. What had I done? I had transmogrified into a comeback specialist. I was quite suprised at this; so suprised, that I promptly lost 10-9. However, I didn't really care. I felt more satisfied with my comeback than I would have been in victory. How had I done it?
I think that when we are in pressured situations, we have an apathy for our success.I know that I did. So we stop trying to win. We start fencing. The margin is quite small, but greatly important.So, in future when I am in a bout. I will not fight to win. I will fence, and see how it goes.